Operation: Humanize Heero
by KT Maiden
Summary: Duo is tired of dealing with Heero's monotonous nature, and decides to do something about it. Rated PG for slight swearing (It's hardly anything, but I'm inclined) and shonen-ai, yaoi, whatever you wanna call it. {COMPLETE}
1. OHH Part 1: Laptop

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing, I don't own it. Story, completely mine. Get over it. I did. Now enjoy the story!

Operation Humanize Heero: Part 1: Laptop  
  
Duo got ready to do his most favorite thing in the world- attempting to make Heero jump. So far, he'd managed it six times, seven if you counted the accidental explosion of the microwave. Duo grinned and snuck into the room he shared with the Wing pilot. Moving as silently as he could, he moved up behind the brown haired boy who was typing away at the infamous laptop. He sat there for a minute, keeping low.

"Waaaah! Hee-kun, you spend all your time on that laptop of yours! You never do anything with me!" he yelled out suddenly. Heero jumped about a foot, and Duo had to work hard not to cackle with glee. Heero whipped around in his chair and presented Duo with a Yuy Death Glare.

"What did you do that for?" he asked. He sounded annoyed. Duo made himself pout.  
"You ditch your own boyfriend to mess around with that stupid computer! Huh! When's the wedding, huh Yuy? Shall I make the invitations?" Duo cried out.

"Duo-" Heero said.  
"'We cordially invite you to the happy marriage of Heero Yuy and Laptop Computer! Groom's family on one side, all electronic equipment on the other!" Duo continued.

"Duo-"  
"Ha! Next I bet you'll ask me to be your best man! Yeah, sure, 'It's time for the speech, everyone listen up!' 'Yeah, I really hope that my old boyfriend and the computer that stole him from me have a really great, long life together!' ffaahh!" Duo bagan to make himself cry. He'd gotten good at it.

"Duo, please-"Heero tried again.  
"No, don't tell me, I know you want to be left alone with your new fiancee, so I'll just leave you to make out with it, or whatever!" Duo yelled. He stomped out the door and slammed it behind him. As soon as he was a safe distance away, he began to giggle quietly. Heero was so predictable. The door would open in a few moments, and Heero would come find him. Then he'd have him right where he wanted him.

Just as Duo knew he would, Heero stood in the middle of the room for a moment, stunned. He looked over at his laptop, which was downloading email innocently. Heero closed the lid, ignoring the beeps of protest, and went out, looking for Duo. He found him curled up in his corner of the living room, hidden behind the stereo system. He was sniffling into his knees. Heero watched him for a moment, then knelt down beside his koi.

"Duo?" he asked.  
"Go away." Came the muffled reply. Heero sighed.  
"Look, Duo, I'm sorry for ignoring you. I'll make it up to you, okay? I'll stay away from the laptop for a whole week. How's that sound?" he asked. Duo looked up slowly, face blotchy and tear-stained.

"R-really?" Duo asked. Heero nodded.  
"After all, we do live together for a reason." He said, a small, Heero-sized smile on his lips. Duo gave him a watery smile, managing to keep the mischevious grin concealed. He was going to enjoy this week.


	2. OHH Part 2: Lack of Pets

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

If you like it enough, O much beloved readers, tell me, and I shall put up more.

Part 2: Lack of Pets

"Heeeeroooo! Where are you?" Duo called out. He saw his koi's arm waving him into the kitchen. Grinning impishly, he bounced into the kitchen.

Heero was chopping vegetables for the soup sitting on the stove. He looked up at Duo and gave him a quick smile, then turned his attention back to the vegetables.

"Hee-kun? I was wondering..." Heero took a deep breath. Duo used his wheedling tone only when he wanted Heero to buy him something.  
"Nani?" he asked.

"Can we get a dog?" Duo asked. Heero stared at him, eyes wide.  
"Doshite? Why do you want a dog?" he asked. Duo grinned and rolled his eyes.  
"Because, silly! Dog's are man's best friend! Besides, it'll play with me when you're busy with that damned laptop of yours." Duo said, pouting a little to remind Heero of their ordeal a few weeks ago. Heero sighed. He had to get out of this, but Duo couldn't know... he'd never hear the end of it...

Duo continued to rant about the uses of dogs while Heero thought.  
"I don't think we can get a dog, Duo." Heero said. He felt his heart squeeze when he saw Duo's crestfallen face. "I-I mean, we aren't equipped for a dog, and we travel so much, it would be difficult." Heero said. Duo sniffed.

"But, we could bring it with us..." Duo trailed off. Heero bit his lip. Duo managed to hold back his smile. He could see that his koi was cracking. It was only a matter of time now.  
"And you wouldn't have to do anything for it! I'd take care of it and walk it and everything! Pleeeeeeaaase Heero? Please Hee-kun?" Duo said, unleashing his secret weapon: Huge violet eyes, slightly teared up. You could practically hear Heero crack.

2 hours later, Duo was bouncing up the front walk, carrying a small Jack Russel terrier. Duo could barely contain his excitement, and Heero could barily contain his tears. Not that he was crying, of course.  
Duo immediately placed the dog in the kitchen. He waved Heero, who was carrying all the supplies, over. He grabbed the food and water dishes and quickly filled them. He placed them on the floor, and the dog trotted over.

"What should we call him, Hee-kun?" Duo asked, smiling at his koi. Heero shrugged.  
"Hn."  
"That's not a good name, Hee-kun!"  
"Hn. You're the one who wanted him. You name him." Heero said, sitting on one of the stools. Duo pouted a moment. Then he perked up.

"Okay, I'll call him Wing!" he blurted out. Heero blinked.  
"Nani?"  
"Yeah! After your gundam!"  
"I kind of got that part."  
"Well do you like it?"  
"Hn."  
"I'll take that as a yes. C'mere, Wing!" Duo called to the dog. It responded immediately.

"See? Wing likes his name! He answered to it." Duo said, petting the dog. Heero reached for a tissue and wiped at his streaming eyes. Duo watched in amazement as his koi sneezed.  
"Heero? You okay?" he asked.  
"I'm fine!" Heero said.  
"Are you sure? I mean, you hardly ever cough, let alone sneeze."  
"Leave me alone, Duo. Go play with Wing." Heero stalked out of the room. Duo sat there for a moment, confused. Then suddenly, it dawned on him.

"Hee-kun?" he called.  
"Hn." Came the reply.  
"Are you allergic to dogs?" Duo asked. There was silence. Suddenly, Heero appeared in the doorway. Looking miserable. Duo burst out laughing.

"That's why you didn't want us to have a dog! Why didin't you just tell me you were allergic?" he asked. Heero sighed.  
"Because I'm the Perfect Soldier. Perfect soldiers don't have weaknesses, and they especially don't have allergies." He said. Duo stopped laughing, and instead went over and threw his arms around Heero's neck.

"You don't have to be the Perfect Soldier around me. In fact, I like that you're allergic!" he said, and kissed Heero's nose. Heero blinked.  
"Really?"  
"Really." There was silence for a moment.

"Of course, I can go out and get the allergy medicine if you don't want anyone else to know." Duo said.  
"Please do." Heero said, smiling a little.


	3. OHH Part 3: Taking Time Off

Disclaimer: Me no own. sniff

R&R, please!

Part 3: Take Time Off  
  
Heero went into the room he shared with Duo and got his allergy medicine off the dresser. He did a double-take. His laptop was on, online, and on a travel agecy site. Getting over his initial shock, Heero grunted and left to get something to eat. On the way, he passed the TV room. He looked in, expecting to see his koi, since the TV was on. However, the only one in the room was Wing, and he was asleep.

The program on TV caught Heero's eye. It was the Travel Channel. And they were showing a special on the Florida Keys. Heero watched for a while, then continued on to the kitchen.  
On the table in the hallway, Heero saw a travel brochure for some island get-away. Curious, he picked it up and began flipping through it. It turned out to be for Key West.

"Hn." Heero grunted. He set the brochure down and went into the kitchen.  
Duo looked up from the book he was reading. Heero saw that it was entitled, "Everything there is to do in the Florida Keys."  
"Hiya, Hee-kun!" Duo said cheerfully. A small smile appeared on Heero's lips.

"Duo, what do you say we take some time off? I was thinking the Florida Keys." Heero said, sitting on the stool next to Duo'sDuo's face split in a huge grin.

"Why, however did you know I wanted to go there, Hee-kun?" he asked.  
"It was a lucky guess."

I know it was really short. Deal with it. Tell me you liked it! Pleeeeeeeaaaase! Heck, tell me if you hated it, even!


	4. OHH Part 4: Game Addiction

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. Only the story.**

**Please review to tell me if you like it! (or if, by some odd chance, you don't)**

****

**Part 4: Game Addiction**

Duo sat hunched infront of Heero's laptop, playing his most favorite game in the world: The Sims. He liked the feeling of controlling their lives, especially when he decided to play as Shinigami.

Heero walked in the front door, home from walking Wing. Said dog scampered off to the TV room, which he had quickly made absolutely clear was his. Heero got a cup of coffee ready and went to find his braided koi.

He found him in their room, sitting at the laptop. He was cackling with glee as what appeared to be a person was engulfed in flames. He watched as the person on the screen died.

"What are you doing?" Heero asked, slightly disturbed. Duo turned around in the seat.  
"Oh, hi Hee-kun! I'm just playing a game I installed on your laptop. You should try it. I think you'd like it." The braided bishounen said.  
"Hn. Looks horrible to me. Do you have to kill the people?" Heero asked. Duo shook his head.

"Nope. I was just in a Shinigami mood. You're really supposed to make them happy and get lots of money. I think you'd be good at it, hee-kun."

"Give me a try." Heero said. Duo scooted over, and Heero grabbed the mouse.  
"Okay, go back to the neighborhood and click on this house here. That's right. Now, these are the Newbies, and it'll show you how to play the game. I'll come check on you in a little while. Have fun!" Duo was gone. Heero turned to his laptop.

Duo looked in on his koi an hour and a half later. However, he decided not to say anything, since Heero looked like he was having the time of his life. He was actually grinning as he clicked away, commanding this and that. Duo closed the door quietly, grinning to himself.

"Just a little bit further in Operation H.H. We're getting closer." He said as he stretched out on the couch. It was getting late, and he was tired. He fell asleep and dreampt about Heero.

**So there's chapter 4. I really like the sims game, so I thought I would let Duo be Shinigami with it. I do that sometimes. Tell me what you think!**


	5. OHH Part 5: Master Chef

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. Operation: Humanize Heero is mine, tho. **

**I know this chapter is, once again, very short. But at least Duo learns fast!**

**Thank you to those who reviewed. I really appreciate it!**

**Part 5: Master Chef  
**  
Duo was so unbelievably hungry. There weren't any snacks in the house, and Heero was out with their car, supposedly going to pick up more allergy medicine.  
Duo was jealous of Wing, who was currently chowing on a heaping bowl of dog food.

"Buddy, I'm so hungry I could eat some of your dog food. Of course, if I did that, you'd probably kill me. Maybe I shouldn't have named you after Heero's gundam." Duo said. Wing barked and turned back to his food dish. Duo sighed. He was so hungry.

The front door slammed shut.  
"I'm home Duo. Where are you?" Heero called out.  
"I'm on the kitchen floor, seriously contemplating eating Wing." Duo said. The dog blinked at him, and Heero appeared in the doorway.

"So I guess you're hungry, huh?" Heero asked his braided koi.  
"Uh-huh."  
"Well, then, you're in luck. I picked up some stuff for omelettes and the grocery. I thought it was about time you learned how to cook something." Heero said as he flitted around the kitchen, putting things away. Duo was indignant.  
"I can cook things!" he yelled.  
"Melting cheese over chips in the microwave doesn't count."

"I-"Duo started. He had heard something in his koi's voice. Was it adoration? Duo had managed to get rid of most of Heero's monotonous voice, and he was proud of that at least.  
"Get up off the floor, baka. I'm gonna teach you how to make omelettes." Heero pulled Duo to his feet and dragged him over to the stove.

"Now you stand here and watch what I do." Heero said. He proceeded to crack eggs open, beat them, and pour them into the pan. Duo watched in amazement as Heero added all the ham, cheese, tomatoes, peppers, and onions that they liked in their omelettes.  
Heero dumped the omelettes onto plates and handed one to Duo.

"Eat. I know you don't need to be taught how to do that." Heero said with a grin. Duo nodded vigorously, his mouth to full to speak.

Duo woke up early the next morning, getting out of bed carefully so as not to wake Heero up. He was nervous.  
He went over the recipe in his head as he made his way to the kitchen. When he got there, he began to get things out.

Heero woke up. It smelled like someone was making omelettes, but who would... Heero noticed that his koi wasn't with him. He smiled and got up.

Duo's timing was perfect. He had just dumped the omelettes onto plates when Heero walked in, a huge, proud grin on his face. Duo blushed from the silent praise.

"Looks like you're up for breakfast. I hope you like it." He said quietly. Heero took the plate and the two of them moved to the table.  
Heero pushed back from the table once he finished. In his opinion, there had never been a better omelette, and he told Duo so.

"So I did good?" duo asked.  
"More than good. I'd say you're a master chef!" Heero answered. Duo beamed.  
  
Owari

**Tell me what you thought about this one! There will be one more chapter, the epilogue, which will be a little different than the normal chapters. Hopefully, it'll hold up. Until then!**


	6. OHH Epilogue, Duo's Journal

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. Just the story.  
  
Here we are! The final chapter. Well, epilogue, really. I hope you all enjoyed this story. If you did, might I suggest any of my other stories? (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) Be sure to check out The Chip Bag, Telemarketers, Behind Blue Eyes, and Getting Over Our Troubles.  
  
Thank you to Shadows of fire, Regina, BluePig, and Wolf Whirl for your wonderful reviews. They were much appreciated!  
  
And now, the conclusion of Operation: Humanize Heero  
  
Operation: Humanize Heero – Epilogue, Duo's Journal**  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
Finally! Operation: H.H has finally come to a close. It was a complete success, too! Heero acts like a completely normal human being, both in public and alone with me. He walks the dog on his own, laughs often (even though it's a rather quiet laugh) and smiles at everyone he meets.

He came home from the grocery yesterday, and he had bought his own allergy medicine for the first time! When I told him how proud I was of him, he smiled and hugged me.

Heero teaches me a new recipe every week. I've mastered scrambled eggs, stir-fry, and chicken, and we're working on baked potatoes this week. After we've done broccoli, I'll surprise him with dinner already made one night. He should appreciate that.

All in all, I think the whole operation was a success. We're expecting Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei over in few weeks, on my suggestion. I can't wait to show them how much Hee-kun has improved! They'll be so impressed with little ol' me! I can hardly wait!  
  
Until next time,  
Duo Maxwell  
  
**That's a wrap! It's been fun writing, and I hope it's been just as much fun reading. Again, thanks to all who reviewed and will review.**


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